911 conspiracy clap-trap

5 06 2011

I recently went through a painfully idiotic discussion with, an otherwise highly intelligent, friend of mine. He put me onto the Zeitgeist films which I was finding interesting if not a tad debatable until…. they started on 911 conspiracy theories.

When discussing the films (via the medium of Facebook instant messenger) to my horror I discovered my learned friend believed this nonsense. At first I thought he was joking but no. My dear friend believes that the US government not only were responsible for flying the planes into the towers but also that they had the building rigged to explode. On top of this he backs the idea that there was no plane at the Pentagon or in Shanksville. He found the official Bin-Laden line unbelievable.

That is unbelievable compared to the notion that the government went to all the trouble to rig the towers to collapse (because flying two planes into them was not enough to convince the civilised world to go to war over oil). But when it came to the Pentagon they decided just to blow it up and pretend there was a plane. This is the US government, why did they not just fly a plane into the Pentagon? Why pretend there was one? Why do that on top of what happened in New York? What was the fourth plane in Shanksville all about?

Maybe they ran out of money after the New York element? I mean the US government must plan all their conspiracies on a budget? Maybe they went over budget on the explosives to bring down the towers but they had a lot left over so decided instead of ruining a perfectly good plane on the Pentagon attacks they would just use up the excess explosive? Or maybe (and I think this is the one he could have won me over with) they stored the left over explosive from New York in the Pentagon but forgot to unplug the timer and they went off with the rest of them? After all this meticulous planning did they get the sense this wasn’t enough?

“Hey I ain’t happy with this plan yet boys, ideas?”

“Maybe we should also pretend a plane crashed into a field Mr. President?”

“My word Joe, give yourself a raise.”

“Thank you very much Mr. President.”

“Actually you can’t, we used up all the money on the explosive.”


He made the point to me that if I ask any pilot of a 737 or a 777 they would tell me how difficult it is to fly a plane directly into a building. I responded that I didn’t know any pilots of 737s or 777s and perhaps I could discuss it with the pilot they had discussed it with. It turns out they didn’t actually know a pilot.

And the US government did all this to start a war over oil? Yes because the US has always had a policy of make sure everyone is on side before they make a move. Anyway off to war they went in the famously oil rich country of Afghanistan. But why didn’t they save themselves all the trouble and just pretend to go in under the guise of removing the Taliban? No one would have believed that is why they were doing it but we could all have lived with the lie that they were acting out of wanting to protect the people of Afghanistan from a human rights crisis.

On the question of the Iraq war and their oil, why would the Bush administration, after carrying out the 911 attacks, pretend that Bin-Laden was in Iraq? Leave the Afghanistan’s out of the picture. If we’re willing to believe he was behind the attacks we’ll believe he’s in Iraq.

Finally there is the question of the number of people involved in the conspiracy. My friend spoke about air traffic control doing nothing, so they were all in on it. Who flew the planes into the towers? Obviously highly trained 737 or 777 pilots, quite happy to sacrifice their lives so America can have some more oil. Whatever else you do don’t forget the Jews who didn’t go to work that day, they were all in on it too.

In fact I’m beginning to feel like I’m the only person who wasn’t in on it.

Last word to Charlie Brooker.

Top Tip for the USA

8 10 2010


I’ve recently enjoyed my fifth visit to the USA and I must say this was quite possibly the best. A wonderful country with the friendliest people God ever put on his green earth. But I have a gripe.


Why oh why is it such a big deal? I went for a meal in DC with some friends; it was an expensive Greek restaurant and we all chipped in $8 towards the tip. Do I have a problem with this? No, not at all, the food was good and the service was friendly and prompt. Skip forward a few days and I go into a bar in New York, I order a bottle of beer, the bar tender pops off the cap of the bottle and hands it to me. I pay $6 for the beer and leave a $1 tip. The person who served me wasn’t rude or overly pleasant. Why do I feel compelled to tip? I question this with my cousin (a New Yorker going on 15 years) and he is adamant I must tip.

His reason is the people serving don’t get paid a great wage, they live on their tips. When did their wage packet become my concern? They probably have more money than me. The person who sold me a cinema ticket probably earns less yet American society doesn’t feel that their job merits tipping.

He says this is a tipping society, but no worker has a right to a tip. All I want is a bottle of Heineken, serve me and engage me and, you never know maybe I’ll like you, tell you get yourself a beer, maybe I won’t. Never assume.

Tips by their very name and nature are earned. Another bar I went to, as soon as I sat down the barmaid came over introduced herself to us and shook hands. We stayed, got pissed and happily left a $15 tip. No problem.

While I’ve name dropped DC and New York already in this blog I may as well mention I also went to Boston and it was awesome.

America, I love ya baby but if you want my money you gotta earn it like everybody else.