911 conspiracy clap-trap

5 06 2011

I recently went through a painfully idiotic discussion with, an otherwise highly intelligent, friend of mine. He put me onto the Zeitgeist films which I was finding interesting if not a tad debatable until…. they started on 911 conspiracy theories.

When discussing the films (via the medium of Facebook instant messenger) to my horror I discovered my learned friend believed this nonsense. At first I thought he was joking but no. My dear friend believes that the US government not only were responsible for flying the planes into the towers but also that they had the building rigged to explode. On top of this he backs the idea that there was no plane at the Pentagon or in Shanksville. He found the official Bin-Laden line unbelievable.

That is unbelievable compared to the notion that the government went to all the trouble to rig the towers to collapse (because flying two planes into them was not enough to convince the civilised world to go to war over oil). But when it came to the Pentagon they decided just to blow it up and pretend there was a plane. This is the US government, why did they not just fly a plane into the Pentagon? Why pretend there was one? Why do that on top of what happened in New York? What was the fourth plane in Shanksville all about?

Maybe they ran out of money after the New York element? I mean the US government must plan all their conspiracies on a budget? Maybe they went over budget on the explosives to bring down the towers but they had a lot left over so decided instead of ruining a perfectly good plane on the Pentagon attacks they would just use up the excess explosive? Or maybe (and I think this is the one he could have won me over with) they stored the left over explosive from New York in the Pentagon but forgot to unplug the timer and they went off with the rest of them? After all this meticulous planning did they get the sense this wasn’t enough?

“Hey I ain’t happy with this plan yet boys, ideas?”

“Maybe we should also pretend a plane crashed into a field Mr. President?”

“My word Joe, give yourself a raise.”

“Thank you very much Mr. President.”

“Actually you can’t, we used up all the money on the explosive.”

“Awwwww.”

He made the point to me that if I ask any pilot of a 737 or a 777 they would tell me how difficult it is to fly a plane directly into a building. I responded that I didn’t know any pilots of 737s or 777s and perhaps I could discuss it with the pilot they had discussed it with. It turns out they didn’t actually know a pilot.

And the US government did all this to start a war over oil? Yes because the US has always had a policy of make sure everyone is on side before they make a move. Anyway off to war they went in the famously oil rich country of Afghanistan. But why didn’t they save themselves all the trouble and just pretend to go in under the guise of removing the Taliban? No one would have believed that is why they were doing it but we could all have lived with the lie that they were acting out of wanting to protect the people of Afghanistan from a human rights crisis.

On the question of the Iraq war and their oil, why would the Bush administration, after carrying out the 911 attacks, pretend that Bin-Laden was in Iraq? Leave the Afghanistan’s out of the picture. If we’re willing to believe he was behind the attacks we’ll believe he’s in Iraq.

Finally there is the question of the number of people involved in the conspiracy. My friend spoke about air traffic control doing nothing, so they were all in on it. Who flew the planes into the towers? Obviously highly trained 737 or 777 pilots, quite happy to sacrifice their lives so America can have some more oil. Whatever else you do don’t forget the Jews who didn’t go to work that day, they were all in on it too.

In fact I’m beginning to feel like I’m the only person who wasn’t in on it.

Last word to Charlie Brooker.

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INSOMNIA

6 10 2010

It’s 3 a.m. and again I can’t sleep. What’s wrong with me? This has been going on for the two weeks since I got back from my holiday in America. At first I blamed jet lag but it’s been too long to drag out that excuse. I went to bed at 9.30 this evening feeling run down, worn out and flu like and slept for just over an hour, I think I would rather have just stayed up.

It’s both depressing and worrying, I try my best not to lose my temper and start banging my head against a wall but that is more for the benefit of the people I live with. I just want to sleep.

My day times pass in a disengaged haze, I can’t claim full responsibility for what I say or do because I’m not me. Me is a tired loss of a man who spends, what seems the majority of his time, staring at a darkened box room. I want to sleep, I’m tired, physically it’s making me ill but mentally it is so much harder. I go from day dreaming to a bout of hating myself, then hating the world, dabble in a bit of self-pity and then back to day dreaming. BUT STILL NO SLEEP.

There’s no one to blame, there’s no one of any importance who I can try and talk to about this awful insomnia whilst I’m suffering through it. It’s just me in a dark room waiting for my mind and body to agree that I’ve had enough torture and letting me sleep.





More things I hate

12 05 2010

Spitting

People who talk loudly on their phone in public…. FUCK OFF

Swearing

People who get arsey if you don’t say “Bless you” when they sneeze. I didn’t say it because I hope you have Spanish flu and die

The Daily Mail

Happy people

Musical families (I just don’t trust them)

People who take Twitter seriously

That’s it for now.





TOP 10 HATES (this week)

10 05 2010

Tories

Not having a cool side to the pillow

People who can’t step on an escalator without flaffing around like they’re drowning, it’s a fucking moving stairs, step on you twat most of the work is being done for you

Top 10 lists

The phrase lol

Plane crashes that don’t kill Nigel Farage

People who do shit Irish accents and think they’re the first person to do this, I’ll throw you to a pack of rape hungry Rottweilers

Flat pints

Eating an orange too soon after brushing my teeth

Rangers





PEOPLE THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED

31 03 2010

Piers URGH Morgan.

Look at that face and tell me you have no desire to punch it on the nose? A man who has built his entire television persona on being the most dislikeable twat in England. A smarmy, poo faced, snot nosed, arse eared, public school product who would look so much better with a bus being driven into his face at speed. He has done more to endear Simon Cowell to the public by just sitting beside him on a Saturday and being himself. I hope for his sake I never pass him in the street, having had a drink, carrrying a heavy blunt object.

Dick

The slappable Michael McIntyre striking a pose here. It’s as if he’s inviting me to come and kick him hard, brutally and squarely in the nuts. A lot of us are familiar with the feeling of turning on the BBC to watch Mock the Week or Have I Got News For You and realising this squeaky, excitable prat is on. No matter what other guests are on, it could even be Jesus, the programme is ruined. I can’t wait to go to his funeral.

Gok Wan(ker)

I didn’t mind this fashion guru type creature, I was sure she knew her stuff and was helping out her (fat) sisters, then it came to my knowledge she was a he and I realised how much the world doesn’t need people like it.

Poncing around exploiting emotional needy women and teaching them “How to look good naked”. Bollocks. How about having your eyes plucked out and fed to a stray dog “How to not look at all because some mad Irishman has defaced me”.

THE FOLLOWING ARE THE FEMALE QUOTA OF PEOPLE I HATE:

Stupid

Pointless

Smelly